Imaginary Friend

Finally, a friend who won’t ghost you!
(Unless that’s their personality. We don’t control them, they’re imaginary.)

For just 99 cents, we’ll match you with one of 50+ beautifully useless imaginary friends, each with their own totally made-up name, vibe, and tragic backstory we fabricated while sleep-deprived.

This is not AI. This is not some chatbot. This is just pure, raw delusional companionship, emailed directly to your inbox like a digital fever dream.

How It Works:

1. Pay us 99 cents.

2. We send you an imaginary friend via email.

3. You meet them, love them, or fear them.

4. That’s it. That’s the whole scam—I mean, experience

You might meet:

• Trevor the Conspiracy Raccoon – Thinks your microwave is spying on him. Might be right.
• Sandra, Ghost of Brunches Past – Lives for mimosas. Died for them too.
• Biff the Overly Supportive Bodybuilder – Claps every time you finish a sentence.
• Moth Susan – Emotionally available but only at porch lights.
• Greg. Just Greg. – Won’t stop bringing up his ex. You’re his ex.

Or one of 50+ other deeply questionable companions floating in the digital void, waiting for their next emotional hostage. Could be a talking sock. Could be a failed magician. You’ll find out soon enough.

Why?

Because therapy is expensive. And sometimes you just need a fictional dude named Vortex to tell you it’s all going to be okay.

Terms of Friendship:

• No refunds if your friend turns out weird. They all are.
• We are not responsible for emotional attachment or internal arguments.
• Do not take legal advice from your imaginary friend, no matter how confident they sound.